Big warm hugs.

Passionate kisses.

The smell of rain.

Day dreaming.

Walking through a field of wild flowers.

Laughing :)

Smiles from anyone, particularly from him.

Soft cushy pillows.

Dark chocolate.

And lastly,

being Loved.

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small. I've been drawing the line and watching it fall.

You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart. Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well, I can't explain why it's not enough. Cause I gave it all to you, and If you leave me now.. Just leave me now. It's the better thing to do.

It's time to surrender. It's been to long pretending, there's no use in trying. When the pieces don't fit anymore.

You pulled me under If I had to give in. Well, I'll hide all the bruises, I'll hide all the damage that's done. But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling is gone.

90210 Marathon :) Can't get enough!

I cried twice this week.

Today was the second time.

I feel like I've cried the whole day. No not really. But it seemed like that.

Most of the time I think I'm strong, or I can do this, I would get through this and that. But right now, I just don't know what to do. I feel helpless. I feel so confused. I am so sad. I've never really felt like this before. There's no hurt at all, I don't feel any pain or any thing in my heart. But I know I'm so drained. Physically, psychologically, and emotionally. It's hard.

I want to put myself back together. I am trying to be strong still. I know I am strong and I can do this and I will get through this. I still am trying to hold my head up and move and fight. I want to.

But sometimes I just want to break down and cry. Just cry. Think. Reflect. Be alone. I don't know. I just don't know.

I hold back my tears all the time because I don't want people, especially my fam, to see me vulnerable; weak.

What makes it all the more harder is that I need someone to talk to badly, or just a hug, or something, but no one's around.

I need Him. So bad.